A rustling next to me wakes my sleeping body with a start, as cries begin, begging for a morning meal. I blink twice, yawn, and reach up to unstrap my right breast and offer it to his hungry mouth. Instantly all noise ceases, except for his slurping away at his morning treat. Birds tweet back and forth to one another outside my window, as I turn to see what they might be discussing. Sunlight shines through tilted blinds, creating a ladder of light cast against my bedroom ceiling. I glance down at Enzo nursing in my arms, and smile. These early mornings have become a welcome delight these pst few months.
As I lay in bed, slowly waking each limb with a stretch, I hear Nevaeh's door creak open downstairs. I listen to each of her bouncy footsteps as she bounds up the stairs to my room. In an instant she is inside, and greets me with "Good Morning Mommy!" She is the sweetest thing on this earth. I smile and ask my precious girl, "How did you sleep luv bug?" "I slept great mommy, can I cuddle you? "she asks. She jumps up onto the bed startling Enzo who pulls away from my breast with a start and gives her a not-so-humored glance before he continues his morning snack. Nevaeh flips around in circles next to us on the bed like a cat trying to get comfortable. Finally she settles down and rests her head on the pillow next me. I gaze down at my beauties and smile. Nothing in the world compares to moments like these, I think to myself. Soon the day will begin, chores will be done, emails to answer… but for a few moments, I drink in these special minutes with my babies.
"Who am I to be so blessed?"
I glance up at the clock, it's 8:13am and 28 degrees. I wiggle down into my comfy bedding with Nevaeh and we giggle at each other's knock knock jokes. Of course, hers are silly, and have no meaning, but I give her huge belly laughs anyways. Enzo is asleep at my breast as I lay him down between Nevaeh and I. "Mommy, can I have massages," she asks in her sweet innocent, mommy can't resist me voice. "Of course" I answer, and rub her small back while she basks in the glory of a good morning massage. "This is the life" she replies and I laugh at the adult commentary she creates for her young 5 year old age. Soon her eyelids get heavy and we all three drift off into sweet slumber land. Three in a row, breathing peacefully , enjoying mommy's big warm bed, and dreaming sweet dreams.
Who am I to be so blessed? That God would bless me beyond my understanding is such an incredible mystery. I think of Leo, an ache in my soul that will never be healed. He's the missing piece in this morning ritual with mommy. I let my hand fall over the side of the bed, and let my fingers graze Leo's box of memories. I miss him… so very much. I close my eyes and sigh into my pillow, fighting back tears that threaten to fall. I hold Enzo close and caress Nevaeh's hair, soaking in every single moment I'm blessed with.
What a beautiful moment Kellene, Motherhood is such a blessing. Your children are beautiful.
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